Dear Post Malone, RSD Ambassador: Please Fix These 5 Things About Vinyl Collecting

Before he embarks on that "Big Ass" tour of his later this summer, Post Malone was recently named ambassador for Record Store Day 2025. Now, in terms of a representative for this venerated celebration of all things music, the rapper-turned-country-crooner is a great choice and someone who will bring further recognition to vinyl releases. (Past ambassadors have included Taylor Swift and Fred Armisen.)

However, and this could be the face tats or his whole "I could get hammered with him" vibes, we think Posty could do more than put a mostly charming face to RSD. In fact, we've put together a list of reasonable requests for Mr. RSD 2025. Nothing too major: just a few things that could make the whole hobby more inclusive, less expensive, and generally less bothersome. We're hoping he'll be like some vinyl Santa, and we can expect some big things from Mr. Malone.

RSD 2025 is slated for Saturday, April 12. Meanwhile, Malone's tour arrives at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens on June 8.

Address some real logistical concerns

Admittedly, the role of RSD ambassador is meant to be mostly superficial, an honor to a big celebrity with influence and reach. But there are some clear issues within the industry: as far back as 2022, vinyl manufacturers were warning of delays stretching out to 2030. If anyone could drum up money and resources for new plants or get big-time artists like Adele to cool it with the oversized runs, it would be Posty's smiling mug. Basically, make him the Ed McMahon or Jerry Lewis for a sustained effort to regulate some of the more Wild West-ian aspects of vinyl manufacturing.

Bring back gimmicked releases

It seemed like pre-COVID, you'd hear all about these vinyl "gimmicks" being released with some regularity. Like, Flaming Lips releasing LPs mixed with their blood, or a banana-scented album from King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard. Posty would be the perfect name to champion some really great new gimmicks. Perhaps a vinyl that could be used to effectively roll joints. Or one that smells like cheap beer and patchouli. Even just holographic stickers to look at while totally stoned. The sky is truly the limits, and we need help making vinyl genuinely weird and magical again.

Solve that damn quality debate

One thing that brought almost everyone into vinyl collecting for the first time is that the sound quality is apparently better than CD. While that generally remains up for debate (you can't deny that the hum and crackle of most vinyl is at least pleasing from a tactile sense), Posty could resolve the issue. Perhaps in such a way that he would strum his guitar, sing about getting drunk at a bonfire, and make everyone forget that quality is less important when it mostly matters that you own the damn music. (That, and you're supporting real musicians and record shops). Seriously, even if vinyl isn't better quality-wise, do you want to keep managing a car full of CD books?

Make record buying less insular

Spoken as a lifelong crate digger, the community generally isn't cool. (Or spatially aware to boot.) Really, it's a bunch of obsessive weirdos looking for pristine copies of Funkadelic's "Maggot Brain" or Albanian soul from 1968. And that's OK: just as he has with his Magic the Gathering hobby, Posty could bring an inclusive and normalizing force to record collecting. Basically, he would be an agent to show that everyone digs records, we all want to find cool stuff, and what matters isn't the fetishized qualities of this hobby but that you're sharing music with others. It's about damn time the nerds faced the changing face of vinyl, and Posty is the perfect balance of geeky and accessible to achieve said vision.

Do away with expensive decks

You can't have vinyl without a vinyl player, and that's not always a good thing. Much like with vinyl's insular nature, a good system can be both pricey and maddening to shop for at times. Once again, Posty can champion accessibility with any number of commercially available decks, which are totally acceptable for you to use when spinning your Fleetwood Mac repress you bought for $35. It's going to sound good regardless, and you'll feel the warmth and allure of recorded music whether you pay $50 or $500 for a setup. Use any money you've saved to buy Magic cards or more cheap beer.