Whether you're coupled or not, Valentine's Day, in all its pink and red glory, adds way too much pressure to our already overscheduled and comparison-obsessed existence. Does your bestie have a stronger relationship than you because she posted a dining table full of in-bloom roses with the caption "from my forever Valentine"? Of course not — but plenty of fights could break out in the 305 this Friday due to lackluster V-Day showings.
For the single and seeking, Valentine's Day can be yet another reminder of what others have and what you're lacking. For the situationships and too-early-to-label relationships, there’s the awkward dance of "do we or don’t we."
But if we take this Hallmark holiday at face value — a forced opportunity to plan a date night or show extra affection to those we love — could we find some actual purpose in Valentine's Day? I spoke to Dr. Mindy DeSeta, a local sexologist, about how couples can make the most of the day — especially those of us who aren’t interested in a four-course prix fixe dinner with a chocolate lava cake at the end.
"The self-love revolution has pushed us past the idea that a partner completes us or that we need someone to be truly happy," Dr. DeSeta tells New Times. "But around the season of love, we slide back into feeling the pressure to be in a relationship or to have a 'perfect' relationship."
Her tip for relieving that pressure: Focus on your bond with your partner instead of trying to secure overblown, fancy dinner reservations. "Make [the day] memorable! It's all about connecting through quality time. Pick an activity that's special for both of you. Put the phones down and dive into conversation with your partner."
For those who are coupled and stressed about getting the holiday just right, consider this your permission to forward this column to your partner with an "I love you" and a shrugging emoji.
For the singles out there, DeSeta recommends doing something that celebrates you. "Whether it's dinner with friends or indulging in some self-care, treat yourself. It's your green light to splurge a little."
If you’re single and looking for something to do, on the hunt for a potential match, or just seeking nontraditional Valentine's Day activities, here are some events that will help you get the most out of the holiday.
