We're Number 1! Miami Leads U.S. in Sales of Monster Dildos

Miami has a phallic trophy to add to its mantle. According to lifestyle brand Lovehoney Group, an online shop that sells sex toys and other erotic gifts, the 305 ranks first in the country for sales of "monster dildos" — fantasy-inspired phallic toys in the shapes of magical creatures.

It seems that in light of Florida's recent ban on Pornhub and other free porn sites, Floridians are putting their active imaginations to good use. While traditional dildos resemble anatomical male penises, monster dildos are often textured like kraken tentacles and dragon tails or crafted in soft pastel rainbow colors. Some of Lovehoney's bestselling items in the category include the Creature Cocks Mystique Unicorn Silicone Dildo, Tentacle Textured Glass Dildo, Pleasure Quest Girthy Fire Dragon Dildo, and Creature Cock Swamp Monster Silicone Scaly Dildo.

What makes monster dildos so popular? According to Lovehoney Group representative Jessica Puder, "Fantasy dildos can be a little more approachable, which might seem backward. But I think sometimes these aren't as intimidating to look at as something that resembles a real penis. Having something that is pretty and pink could be more of an introductory way to get into dildos if the consumer is interested in penetrative pleasure."

Miami's interest in this unique category of sex toys earned it Lovehoney's "Most Otherworldly City" award: "Whether it's a dragon, tentacle, unicorn, or simply a sparkly toy that hits the spot, they're embracing their fantasies with sensations that are out of this world."

Other superlatives included "Peachiest Place," awarded to Washington, D.C., for its interest in anal toys; "Most Silent City," which went to Denver for purchasing the highest number of gags per capita; and "Most Pious City," which New York City earned for leading the nation in sales of chastity devices. 

According to the data, Miami locals are partaking in those pleasures, too — they're not only getting off on Game of Thrones-style kinks. Miami ranked in the top 5 percent of nationwide consumers for sales of anal sex toys, anal lubes, bondage, ball gags, realistic vaginas, realistic butts, nurse costumes, strap-ons, and dildos (the regular kind).